Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus.
You are the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of God.
You came to establish your throne as a king, but the way you did it was so different. You did not come as a violent revolutionary or as some conquering king. You did it by teaching and healing, by silently dying, and by being raised.
When you taught, it was on how to love God and our neighbors, and how to gain eternal life. When you healed, it was beautiful and touching, and a shadow of the restoration you promise to those who believe.
When you died, it twas to take our sin with you. Our flesh, full of sin, can die with your death, so you can peal away selflessness and throw away pride and sin.
When you were raised, it was to breathe life into our spirits, to foster the new man, to adopt him and make him your own. It was to show that we will die once, but not twice, and will have life and life abundantly.
Thank you, very, very much.
-Your Friend James
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Epiphanies while going in circles
Lately I've been seeking God on some stuff and haven't heard anything super specific yet. I still haven't, but that's not what this is about. As I went down by the river to pray because I felt a little too frustrated about this thing, I started thinking, (and I think this is how God speaks to me), and I figured, and this resounds through Scripture, that God really wants me to spend time with him, he loves me more than anybody does, and he listens to me. And in a really big way, this resolves a lot of my issue.
But about this issue, I make a decision about this thing, wonder and wonder about it, and then change my mind. (I know I'm being very vague, but don't worry, it's nothing that'll kill me or anything). Because I've gone through this process a million and one times with this specific thing, wanting in my brain to act appropriately, and then like a kid runs after a twenty blowing in the wind, I chase after what I want and forget that I decided to trust God. As I was pacing very small circles in the prayer shack and getting a little dizzy, wondering why I had as much resolve as a dog being called by two kids each with a treat in their hands, I realized/God showed me that these countless failures aren't so much failures as they are God's hand working in me so that I COULD walk laps in the prayer shack, asking him what was wrong with me, and spending time with him.
This was freeing, believe me, but my next thought was that if God wants me to spend time with him, I'll do that. And then, that will crack the safe of my issue and all difficulty will go away. Yay! ...But an instant later, I realized/God showed me that he's not an equation, prayer isn't a key, and my problem isn't a safe. He is a jealous God, knit me to have relationship with me, sent his Son to make me clean, and adopted me. In light of this, my thought was ridiculous! I need to spend more intentional time with the Lord, believing with child-like faith that he's got everything taken care of, but not for a key... It's more like getting clues to a really big mystery that evolves, but never goes away. And the clue-giver keeps giving them so that you ask for more. Or, he doesn't give any clues so that you keep pursuing him, asking for more.
These "epiphanies" didn't bring answers, but they brought peace, and that's what I want more than anything. Not only the read-a-novel-in-a-field-of-flowers peace, but also the peace that makes you want to climb a tree. The peace that makes a cold lake look inviting - your eyes water because of the beauty and widen because of the adventure ahead. The peace that stirs your heart to feed somebody with food, a smile, or an open ear and ten minutes. But most importantly, the peace that tells you God is not angry with you anymore, but is pleased with you because he's forgiven your sins and made you righteous, for his name's sake, so that all will know that he is the Lord.
But about this issue, I make a decision about this thing, wonder and wonder about it, and then change my mind. (I know I'm being very vague, but don't worry, it's nothing that'll kill me or anything). Because I've gone through this process a million and one times with this specific thing, wanting in my brain to act appropriately, and then like a kid runs after a twenty blowing in the wind, I chase after what I want and forget that I decided to trust God. As I was pacing very small circles in the prayer shack and getting a little dizzy, wondering why I had as much resolve as a dog being called by two kids each with a treat in their hands, I realized/God showed me that these countless failures aren't so much failures as they are God's hand working in me so that I COULD walk laps in the prayer shack, asking him what was wrong with me, and spending time with him.
This was freeing, believe me, but my next thought was that if God wants me to spend time with him, I'll do that. And then, that will crack the safe of my issue and all difficulty will go away. Yay! ...But an instant later, I realized/God showed me that he's not an equation, prayer isn't a key, and my problem isn't a safe. He is a jealous God, knit me to have relationship with me, sent his Son to make me clean, and adopted me. In light of this, my thought was ridiculous! I need to spend more intentional time with the Lord, believing with child-like faith that he's got everything taken care of, but not for a key... It's more like getting clues to a really big mystery that evolves, but never goes away. And the clue-giver keeps giving them so that you ask for more. Or, he doesn't give any clues so that you keep pursuing him, asking for more.
These "epiphanies" didn't bring answers, but they brought peace, and that's what I want more than anything. Not only the read-a-novel-in-a-field-of-flowers peace, but also the peace that makes you want to climb a tree. The peace that makes a cold lake look inviting - your eyes water because of the beauty and widen because of the adventure ahead. The peace that stirs your heart to feed somebody with food, a smile, or an open ear and ten minutes. But most importantly, the peace that tells you God is not angry with you anymore, but is pleased with you because he's forgiven your sins and made you righteous, for his name's sake, so that all will know that he is the Lord.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Forever and Ever
God's faithfulness. Because he is God, whatever he is faithful in will be the strongest, most durable thing we've ever seen. So what is God faithful with? His mercy. God's steadfast love and mercy are rampant even in the Old Testament, and it blows us away. Israel has played the part of the unfaithful prostitute, forsaking God for man-made trinkets. God disciplined them, but for some inexplicable reason went outside his covenant, bringing Israel back to him; not because of what they've done, but because of the Lord's steadfast love, which keeps enduring for all of time. Hundreds of years of idolatry/adultery - hundreds of years of saying, "How can I worship what I can't see?" Hundreds of years of saying, "Look at what I've made! Look at what WE'VE done, growing in prosperity and power because of our own strength."
God exiled his people because of this and Israel was dispersed throughout Assyria and would never return to the Promised Land. Judah, however, the barely slightly more righteous half of the kingdom, remained intact even in Babylon. The Lord had prophesied dozens of times about keeping David's line alive and that he would raise the tent of David and restore Judah.
But even before that fully happened, he brought Judah back to the Promised Land! Things were different and though the temple, the house of the Lord, was built, his glory did not fill it. He sent prophets and spoke through them, but you can't help but deny that though this return had been great and God-done, something greater was yet to come. More on that another day, but before You-Know-Who comes, there is still a lot of mercy in how the Lord deals with returned exiles. As Hosea prophesied, he bought the unfaithful prostitute of Judah back, redeemed her and went beyond his covenant to have fellowship with and bless his people who really had done nothing worthy of such acts. He rescued them from being in the possession of another nation, and protected them as they rebuilt the wall and the temple.
In a lot of ways, this is a sign of - a step towards, if you will - future redemption. That redemption is in the past for us, but like I said, more on that another day.
God exiled his people because of this and Israel was dispersed throughout Assyria and would never return to the Promised Land. Judah, however, the barely slightly more righteous half of the kingdom, remained intact even in Babylon. The Lord had prophesied dozens of times about keeping David's line alive and that he would raise the tent of David and restore Judah.
But even before that fully happened, he brought Judah back to the Promised Land! Things were different and though the temple, the house of the Lord, was built, his glory did not fill it. He sent prophets and spoke through them, but you can't help but deny that though this return had been great and God-done, something greater was yet to come. More on that another day, but before You-Know-Who comes, there is still a lot of mercy in how the Lord deals with returned exiles. As Hosea prophesied, he bought the unfaithful prostitute of Judah back, redeemed her and went beyond his covenant to have fellowship with and bless his people who really had done nothing worthy of such acts. He rescued them from being in the possession of another nation, and protected them as they rebuilt the wall and the temple.
In a lot of ways, this is a sign of - a step towards, if you will - future redemption. That redemption is in the past for us, but like I said, more on that another day.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Ask, Seek, and Knock
I wrote this because God has answered a lot of prayers lately, and I think it's to show me that he'll provide all that I need, no matter how big. Right now, 600 more dollars is big. But God is bigger.
Luke 11:9-10. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
We ask, against all our nature that says "Don't; it's unpredictable and makes you vulnerable." But we do because deep calls out to deep; because deep in us we want something bigger to help us, to guide us, and to speak to us. And it is then we see it is not something, but someone. And this Someone delights in our entreaty, rejoices in our openness, and cares for our needs.
We seek, against all all our nature that says, "Don't; you don't know what you will find and what it will require of you." But we do because embedded in our minds is the experience of incompleteness, of not measuring up. And it is this not measuring up that pushes us out the door to find the "it" that will complete us and make us worthy. But then we see it's not an "it" but a "who," and this Who is infinite and intimate. We learn it is actually this "Who" who sought us first with fiery passion, a steadfast love, and a faithfulness that pours peace over many and would make any old woman blush.
We knock, against all our nature that says, "Don't, no one's going to open, and you can't fulfill what's asked of you anyway." But we do because there is a purpose and a calling for each of us and in our hearts we know it, our blood pulses with it. We want more, so we knock. We know we can't go it alone, so we look to a power source, and realize it is God Almighty, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, who holds our hand and walks us through the door, giving us breath and a purpose to breathe.
"For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."
Luke 11:9-10. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
We ask, against all our nature that says "Don't; it's unpredictable and makes you vulnerable." But we do because deep calls out to deep; because deep in us we want something bigger to help us, to guide us, and to speak to us. And it is then we see it is not something, but someone. And this Someone delights in our entreaty, rejoices in our openness, and cares for our needs.
We seek, against all all our nature that says, "Don't; you don't know what you will find and what it will require of you." But we do because embedded in our minds is the experience of incompleteness, of not measuring up. And it is this not measuring up that pushes us out the door to find the "it" that will complete us and make us worthy. But then we see it's not an "it" but a "who," and this Who is infinite and intimate. We learn it is actually this "Who" who sought us first with fiery passion, a steadfast love, and a faithfulness that pours peace over many and would make any old woman blush.
We knock, against all our nature that says, "Don't, no one's going to open, and you can't fulfill what's asked of you anyway." But we do because there is a purpose and a calling for each of us and in our hearts we know it, our blood pulses with it. We want more, so we knock. We know we can't go it alone, so we look to a power source, and realize it is God Almighty, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, who holds our hand and walks us through the door, giving us breath and a purpose to breathe.
"For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Beginning
This is not actually the beginning, but I'll get to that later. The beginning was 20 years, 2 months, and 23 days ago when my twin and I were born. It was a Sunday afternoon and in a seven minute span my mom finally delivered Julie and I into this world of oxygen, and we breathed. I grew up, parted my hair down the middle, had glasses, liked math and science, went to children's church and played at recess. I knew God was alive and that Jesus died for me and that a lot of people loved me.
However, I also grew up without my dad around much, and so thought some funky things about myself without realizing it. When I was ten, my mom married a Christian man who is still very diligent to do the right thing, and they are still together today. But he jumped on the boat at 40 years old and has probably done a great job at adjusting. Unfortunately, as a boy and then a young man, who happened to be quite sensitive and very feely, I didn't receive what a young man needed to receive from him. And so I thought things. Things that are not now nor have ever been true. Things that are the opposite of who I really am, but since I'm so afraid of becoming, I think I am. And this is where God comes in.
Without God, cold and darkness, loneliness and despair reign. Fortunately for me, he has never let me go. Much to my surprise, even till today, he has refused to let me go and I can never, for the rest of my life, deny he is alive and piercing. He is not just some all-powerful entity to watch the ants live out their lives, but infinitely and intimately penetrates into our hearts and minds. He has provided life to me, and life abundantly. These are not just some abstract thoughts, some ungrounded, floating concepts: I've prayed to hear God's voice and he replies by filling me with joy. I've asked for guidance and he's shown me which choice is the right one. I've called out in distress and felt warm peace all over me and then just knew he was with me, saying in a James Earl Jones kind of way, "James. You are my son. I love you and will never, ever leave you."
He has said these things to all people everywhere. But they only apply to those who believe in this: That Jesus Christ is his Son and is the One to save people from their sins. Then life and light are poured into you and though your faith will be tested, you will know you have the promised eternal life.
I know this, and because I do I want to know more and more about him. So I am doing this Bible School through YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and studying what he has inspired people to write and inspired people to collect and compile so that we can know who he is and apply it to our lives. So I am here in Canada. This school is the beginning, in several ways, of my walk with God as a man. I am more determined now than ever to do his will and to grow into who he created me to be. I am two-thirds done with this school, and cannot wait to learn more and more. It is a lot of work, but laziness has never proven love. I love Jesus very much, and I plan to show this to many people in my life.
I love God because he first loved me. He will never leave me nor forsake me, and he's out of his mind with love for me. And this unbelievable luxury of Joy and Peace is really available to all.
This time is awesome, but it's just the beginning.
However, I also grew up without my dad around much, and so thought some funky things about myself without realizing it. When I was ten, my mom married a Christian man who is still very diligent to do the right thing, and they are still together today. But he jumped on the boat at 40 years old and has probably done a great job at adjusting. Unfortunately, as a boy and then a young man, who happened to be quite sensitive and very feely, I didn't receive what a young man needed to receive from him. And so I thought things. Things that are not now nor have ever been true. Things that are the opposite of who I really am, but since I'm so afraid of becoming, I think I am. And this is where God comes in.
Without God, cold and darkness, loneliness and despair reign. Fortunately for me, he has never let me go. Much to my surprise, even till today, he has refused to let me go and I can never, for the rest of my life, deny he is alive and piercing. He is not just some all-powerful entity to watch the ants live out their lives, but infinitely and intimately penetrates into our hearts and minds. He has provided life to me, and life abundantly. These are not just some abstract thoughts, some ungrounded, floating concepts: I've prayed to hear God's voice and he replies by filling me with joy. I've asked for guidance and he's shown me which choice is the right one. I've called out in distress and felt warm peace all over me and then just knew he was with me, saying in a James Earl Jones kind of way, "James. You are my son. I love you and will never, ever leave you."
He has said these things to all people everywhere. But they only apply to those who believe in this: That Jesus Christ is his Son and is the One to save people from their sins. Then life and light are poured into you and though your faith will be tested, you will know you have the promised eternal life.
I know this, and because I do I want to know more and more about him. So I am doing this Bible School through YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and studying what he has inspired people to write and inspired people to collect and compile so that we can know who he is and apply it to our lives. So I am here in Canada. This school is the beginning, in several ways, of my walk with God as a man. I am more determined now than ever to do his will and to grow into who he created me to be. I am two-thirds done with this school, and cannot wait to learn more and more. It is a lot of work, but laziness has never proven love. I love Jesus very much, and I plan to show this to many people in my life.
I love God because he first loved me. He will never leave me nor forsake me, and he's out of his mind with love for me. And this unbelievable luxury of Joy and Peace is really available to all.
This time is awesome, but it's just the beginning.
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