That's my King!

I was taking communion at a prayer night last night and something hit me like never before. I've always known that the bread and wine represented what Jesus did, and he even commanded us to do it physically, to remember exactly what he physically did.

But this time, I felt something I've never felt; I really felt like I KNEW who Jesus was, that I know what he likes and doesn't, what he has done, does, and will do, and how he feels about me and everyone who believes in him. I stared at my bread and Kool-Aid and realized that I AM A PART of this. I'm in this story, I can and have joined this club, and I'm part of this team. This is all REAL. I've always known and loved Jesus since I was a boy, but I've never quite felt this reality, that Jesus died. For me. And Jesus was raised. For me. For us. For his name.

In 1 Corinthians 11, Paul is addressing what looks to be an abuse of the Lord's supper. "Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord." Paul has compared the bread and wine of communion to the actual body of Christ. Now I'm not saying this is proof of transubstantiation (not that I'm against it), but clearly this event, even if it is symbolic, of remembering the Lord's death is VERY significant. Blood-guilt in the Old Testament was NOT something you wanted on your head. My point is this: Jesus' body and blood, my bread and Kool-Aid, they remind me that I am alive, I am a REAL PART of Jesus' ministry, and that I have the power to love others. I then looked around the room and couldn't help from telling a guy there how Jesus feels about him, because of how Jesus had shown me his love.

This is real, and it has real implications of life and love. These have been given to us by Jesus the Life, and God who is Love, to pour into others and join this battle on earth, knowing that the God is our Lord of Hosts and that victory and salvation belong to the Lord.

"Then I saw in the right hand of him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals. And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, “Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?” And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it, and I began to weep loudly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it. And one of the elders said to me, “Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.”
6 And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. And he went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who was seated on the throne. And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song, saying,

“Worthy are you to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
for you were slain, and BY YOUR BLOOD you ransomed people for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation,
and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God,
and they shall reign on the earth.”

11 Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped."

That's my Jesus! He's worthy to take the scroll from the Father; he ransomed us for God by his blood! He's made us a kingdom and priests to our God. This is a real story, with real people. God is REAL, Jesus is REAL. Our part is REAL. This is my Jesus.

What the Heck!?

So I need 3200 dollars for my outreach fees; that would pay for just about everything. I had 100 of that by Monday, and the rest was due a week later, on the 14th. On Monday, our YWAM base here at Turner Valley had a giving night for the SBS (mine) and DTS outreaches. We had a basket for each person and a couple hours of worship and hanging out while anyone could donate into the baskets if they wanted.

At the end of the night, some of the staff left and counted the money and came back to tell us how much had come in. Now, there were about 20 or 25 people there, all missionaries like myself. Evan announced that over $7,000 had come in! And, over 2400 was specifically for me!!!!! What the heck!?

And then, because God never does seem quite finished, I finally, after celebrating for a while, returned to my room only to find an envelope holding $200 on my door!!

SO, now I only need about 500 (there are some shots I need to get before outreach).
BAM! Yeah! God is soooo awesome, and that's that.

Peace to you all

Southeast Asia or Bust!

Hello friends!
First, I'd like to thank everyone who donated to me so I could finish my school! That was one of the best weeks of my life, and I really saw God answer prayer through you guys.

So, I have decided for some time now that I'm going on a mission trip after my school is over. My Bible School ends on July 2nd, and we will leave a week or so later for a four week outreach to Thailand, but we'll be spending significant time (3 weeks) in Myanmar! There is an opportunity for our five man (three men and two women) team to teach the Good Book there. For those of you who don't know much about Myanmar, this is a special opportunity that I can't wait to be involved in it.

We will be strengthening believers there by teaching in-depth on whichever books they need us to teach for them as they go through the Book in their school, which is an adapted version of the school I've been doing for eight months.

We will be returning to Canada in mid-August, and afterward I'll be coming home to Escalon, California!

This is one of the major reasons I decided to do this school; for the outreach. It will be a privilege to apply what I've learned and to serve and love others, and I need a lot of help to get there. The cost for each of us, including airfare, housing, food, and everything I'll need for this trip is $3,200 CAN. I'm not starting with very much at all, so I need the Lord to provide, and ask that you, my friends and family, join me by donating and by praying for me, specifically that finances come in and that we are kept safe on this outreach.

-If you'd like to send a check to my church for a tax deductible receipt, you can send it to: 300 Trask Lane, Modesto, CA, 95354. (However, my name cannot appear on the check, so please attach a note saying, "For James Harrison's Outreach."
-Another way is to send the money to YWAM Turner Valley, Box 730, Turner Valley, AB, T0L2A0, Canada, noting that it is for James Harrison's SBS Outreach.
-If you'd like to donate online (without a tax-deductible receipt), you can send it through Paypal to jamesthellama@hotmail.com

We have a few fundraising ideas, which will help a lot, I think. The money is due, so that we can buy plane tickets, by the 14th. :)

Thanks for reading!
James L.

Thanks a Bunch!

Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus.
You are the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of God.

You came to establish your throne as a king, but the way you did it was so different. You did not come as a violent revolutionary or as some conquering king. You did it by teaching and healing, by silently dying, and by being raised.

When you taught, it was on how to love God and our neighbors, and how to gain eternal life. When you healed, it was beautiful and touching, and a shadow of the restoration you promise to those who believe.

When you died, it twas to take our sin with you. Our flesh, full of sin, can die with your death, so you can peal away selflessness and throw away pride and sin.

When you were raised, it was to breathe life into our spirits, to foster the new man, to adopt him and make him your own. It was to show that we will die once, but not twice, and will have life and life abundantly.

Thank you, very, very much.
-Your Friend James

Epiphanies while going in circles

Lately I've been seeking God on some stuff and haven't heard anything super specific yet. I still haven't, but that's not what this is about. As I went down by the river to pray because I felt a little too frustrated about this thing, I started thinking, (and I think this is how God speaks to me), and I figured, and this resounds through Scripture, that God really wants me to spend time with him, he loves me more than anybody does, and he listens to me. And in a really big way, this resolves a lot of my issue.

But about this issue, I make a decision about this thing, wonder and wonder about it, and then change my mind. (I know I'm being very vague, but don't worry, it's nothing that'll kill me or anything). Because I've gone through this process a million and one times with this specific thing, wanting in my brain to act appropriately, and then like a kid runs after a twenty blowing in the wind, I chase after what I want and forget that I decided to trust God. As I was pacing very small circles in the prayer shack and getting a little dizzy, wondering why I had as much resolve as a dog being called by two kids each with a treat in their hands, I realized/God showed me that these countless failures aren't so much failures as they are God's hand working in me so that I COULD walk laps in the prayer shack, asking him what was wrong with me, and spending time with him.

This was freeing, believe me, but my next thought was that if God wants me to spend time with him, I'll do that. And then, that will crack the safe of my issue and all difficulty will go away. Yay! ...But an instant later, I realized/God showed me that he's not an equation, prayer isn't a key, and my problem isn't a safe. He is a jealous God, knit me to have relationship with me, sent his Son to make me clean, and adopted me. In light of this, my thought was ridiculous! I need to spend more intentional time with the Lord, believing with child-like faith that he's got everything taken care of, but not for a key... It's more like getting clues to a really big mystery that evolves, but never goes away. And the clue-giver keeps giving them so that you ask for more. Or, he doesn't give any clues so that you keep pursuing him, asking for more.

These "epiphanies" didn't bring answers, but they brought peace, and that's what I want more than anything. Not only the read-a-novel-in-a-field-of-flowers peace, but also the peace that makes you want to climb a tree. The peace that makes a cold lake look inviting - your eyes water because of the beauty and widen because of the adventure ahead. The peace that stirs your heart to feed somebody with food, a smile, or an open ear and ten minutes. But most importantly, the peace that tells you God is not angry with you anymore, but is pleased with you because he's forgiven your sins and made you righteous, for his name's sake, so that all will know that he is the Lord.

Forever and Ever

God's faithfulness. Because he is God, whatever he is faithful in will be the strongest, most durable thing we've ever seen. So what is God faithful with? His mercy. God's steadfast love and mercy are rampant even in the Old Testament, and it blows us away. Israel has played the part of the unfaithful prostitute, forsaking God for man-made trinkets. God disciplined them, but for some inexplicable reason went outside his covenant, bringing Israel back to him; not because of what they've done, but because of the Lord's steadfast love, which keeps enduring for all of time. Hundreds of years of idolatry/adultery - hundreds of years of saying, "How can I worship what I can't see?" Hundreds of years of saying, "Look at what I've made! Look at what WE'VE done, growing in prosperity and power because of our own strength."

God exiled his people because of this and Israel was dispersed throughout Assyria and would never return to the Promised Land. Judah, however, the barely slightly more righteous half of the kingdom, remained intact even in Babylon. The Lord had prophesied dozens of times about keeping David's line alive and that he would raise the tent of David and restore Judah.

But even before that fully happened, he brought Judah back to the Promised Land! Things were different and though the temple, the house of the Lord, was built, his glory did not fill it. He sent prophets and spoke through them, but you can't help but deny that though this return had been great and God-done, something greater was yet to come. More on that another day, but before You-Know-Who comes, there is still a lot of mercy in how the Lord deals with returned exiles. As Hosea prophesied, he bought the unfaithful prostitute of Judah back, redeemed her and went beyond his covenant to have fellowship with and bless his people who really had done nothing worthy of such acts. He rescued them from being in the possession of another nation, and protected them as they rebuilt the wall and the temple.

In a lot of ways, this is a sign of - a step towards, if you will - future redemption. That redemption is in the past for us, but like I said, more on that another day.

Ask, Seek, and Knock

I wrote this because God has answered a lot of prayers lately, and I think it's to show me that he'll provide all that I need, no matter how big. Right now, 600 more dollars is big. But God is bigger.

Luke 11:9-10. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

We ask, against all our nature that says "Don't; it's unpredictable and makes you vulnerable." But we do because deep calls out to deep; because deep in us we want something bigger to help us, to guide us, and to speak to us. And it is then we see it is not something, but someone. And this Someone delights in our entreaty, rejoices in our openness, and cares for our needs.

We seek, against all all our nature that says, "Don't; you don't know what you will find and what it will require of you." But we do because embedded in our minds is the experience of incompleteness, of not measuring up. And it is this not measuring up that pushes us out the door to find the "it" that will complete us and make us worthy. But then we see it's not an "it" but a "who," and this Who is infinite and intimate. We learn it is actually this "Who" who sought us first with fiery passion, a steadfast love, and a faithfulness that pours peace over many and would make any old woman blush.

We knock, against all our nature that says, "Don't, no one's going to open, and you can't fulfill what's asked of you anyway." But we do because there is a purpose and a calling for each of us and in our hearts we know it, our blood pulses with it. We want more, so we knock. We know we can't go it alone, so we look to a power source, and realize it is God Almighty, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, who holds our hand and walks us through the door, giving us breath and a purpose to breathe.

"For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."